i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
