I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
