It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
