I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
