Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
