You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
are you so shy because you have an std?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
