paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
