My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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