I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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