it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
