She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize