Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
