Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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