Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize