He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
