I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
