On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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