Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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