It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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