Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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