Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
