I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I want a musical about memes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
