he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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