Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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