Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
