Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
