Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
