It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
