Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
