so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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