we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
