Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
