When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
