he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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