I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
NoShamevember. You game?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
