I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize