im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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