it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
In other news, I just burned my penis
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
