In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
