It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
