I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize