So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
