hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
