whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
