So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
