maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
