That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she pinky promised me she was 18
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
