Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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