it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
