Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
