What a fucking waste of an outfit
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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