You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
