You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think my moral compass just broke
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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