I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
