Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize