Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
