We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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