Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
