this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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