we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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