I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
